Season 3 of Netflix‘s docu-romance series “Love on the Spectrum U.S.” is not a political statement. It’s not a hard-lined opinion piece or propaganda. It is, as the title suggests, a show about love. And yet, in light of recent statements made by America’s Health and Human Services Secretary, Robert F. Kennedy, Jr., what for many serves as comfort-viewing now stands as a counter-argument against current government policy.
In response to Kennedy saying those on the autism spectrum will “never pay taxes” and “never hold a job” during an April 16 press conference, many cast members from “Love on the Spectrum” have come forward to dispel this notion. Speaking to NewsNation in response, the show’s Dani Bowman said, “To generalize and say none of us can work, date, or contribute to society is completely false. I have a job. I do pay taxes. I’ve dated. I have a master’s degree.”
During an interview with People, cast member James B. Jones said of Kennedy’s comments, “They clearly were made from a position of extreme ignorance. Autism manifests itself differently in every person. No two people who have it are exactly the same.”
And what would “Love on the Spectrum” co-creator Cian O’Clery say to the HHS Secretary if he got the chance? “It’d be great if you watch the show,” O’Clery told IndieWire during a recent interview.
The reality is, O’Clery and co-creator Karina Holden did not develop either the Australian or U.S. version of “Love on the Spectrum” to be controversial. Unlike most reality shows dealing in romance, the content of the series was not even meant to deal in conflict, but rather the very real, awkward, touching nuances of finding love as someone on the autism spectrum. Funny enough, love wasn’t even what first drew O’Clery and Holden to want to make a project that highlights neurodiversity.
“The original concept for the show came up because I was making a series about people with disabilities looking for employment,” said O’Clery. He added later, “A lot of people wanted to find a job, sure, but a lot of people actually wanted to find love more than they wanted to find a job. And there wasn’t any support in Australia for that. There’s lots of disability employment support, but there wasn’t any kind of social relationship dating [resources].”
Learning of this need, O’Clery and Holden began to play Cupid, looking for potential romantic matches amongst the folks they met on previous projects, reaching out to various disability organizations to utilize their contact lists, and even taking pitches over social media from family members of eventual cast members. Such was the case with Connor Tomlinson, who joined Season 2 of the U.S. “Love on the Spectrum” after his brother Jack posted about him online.
With the help of his siblings, Tomlinson has since flourished into a social media sensation and in Season 3, finally found his match in a young woman named Georgie. In a recent interview with IndieWire, Tomlinson compared his outlook on romance with the plot of “Frozen,” tying its narrative to his own story.
“Anna and Elsa were isolated, not only from each other, but the rest of their kingdom,” he said. “Anna was eager to find true love, but so much so she was willing to get married just like that. It turns out the guy she got engaged to actually wanted to marry her so he could become king, whereas as her relationship with Christoph is a lot more healthy. They took the time to get to know each other. It took more than feelings so they could get together. They had to put each other’s needs before their own and they had to consider each other’s feelings.”
Tomlinson’s mom, Lise Smith — also featured prominently on “Love on the Spectrum,” along with the rest of the family and its many dogs — told IndieWire that it has always been common for Connor to use movies and TV as a way of processing and coping with a situation he may not fully understand. Part of what make “Love on the Spectrum” so special for her is that now adults with autism won’t only have Disney films or other kid-oriented material as guideposts, but figures they can relate to, like her son.
“These are 21-plus adults that are having 21-plus thoughts now,” Smith said of the individuals involved in the series, “and wanting a romantic relationship and all that comes with it. I like that that is being shown in a respectful way — in a true way of like, these individuals have the same urges and wants.”
For O’Clery and Holden, respect is key to what makes the show so special. Even though there may be moments of humor in the final edit, it’s never about laughing at someone or judging them, but rather embracing the “awkward funny moments” that can come with any dating experience, even for those who are neurotypical.
For instance, toward the end of the season, one of the Season 3 additions, Madison Marilla, took her new boyfriend Tyler home to meet her family. This was unknown territory for everyone involved and, rather than shy away from the discomfort, Madison and Tyler leaned into it, making out in front of her parents multiple times over the course of the afternoon.
“We had no idea that was gonna happen,” said O’Clery. “It just kind of happened out of nowhere. I was really impressed with it at first, when it first started happening, then I thought, oh God, the parents are gonna be so mad. Dad’s gonna be really upset with Tyler. But they were like really positive about it.”
O’Clery believes that to Madison’s parents, this wasn’t an inappropriate gesture, but a sign of “transformation” in their daughter and proof that “Love on the Spectrum” itself was opening her world up in a way it hadn’t been before. Capturing this kind of shift in an individual is also what’s made the show so compelling season by season. This isn’t a reality series like “The Bachelor” or “Love Is Blind” where characters are thrown into a love pit with no guarantee of coming out with a partner. Instead, “Love on the Spectrum” makes a commitment to its subjects, following them through all the ups-and-downs of connection, break-ups, first kisses, and maintaining long-term relationships.
Compared to previous seasons, Season 3 of the show boasted the most successful relationships of any before not because O’Clery and Holden are applying some new science or getting sharper as they go, but because those they’re capturing are growing so much by going through this process. At times, it becomes difficult for even the participants themselves to recognize the person depicted on screen.
“I like that it’s me,” Tomlinson said of how he comes across in the show, “but at the same time, it feels like I’m someone else.”
Many of Connor’s actions come as a surprise to his mother as well. She was blown away by the fact that before touching or kissing Georgie, he always asked for consent. This was not something she was always used to, but immediately registered that for Connor, he would want to be asked the same. It may seem like a small gesture, but in a world where the young, male population is growing increasingly aggressive toward women, it’s an important reminder that valuable lessons can come from all types of people.
“I hope this show is blowing up absolute misconceptions and misinformation about adults in the autism community, period,” said Smith, “not even related to love, just related to how they conduct themselves in life.”
As important as that is, particularly during these times where officials like Kennedy are trying to separate this contingent as a different class of citizen, O’Clery and Holden maintain that their main mission, above all else, is to spread love.
“The great thing about this series and the fact that it’s global is it’s really given rise to a lot of organizations and groups,” O’Clery told IndieWire. “Whether it’s dating events, whether it’s social events, it’s actually had a real world effect in a lot of places, which is really good to see.”
